Bold, Frankenstein and Mmmm-errr

Epiphany A, B & C
January 6

Matthew 2:1-12

Characters:

  • Narrator – reads from script
  • Balthazar, Melchior, Gaspar
    one person with three hats/cloaks and three accents
    OR two people plus Narrator (Narr steps back to lectern and removes hat to narrate, suggest Narr plays Gaspar) – miss out section in italics.
    OR three puppets / people – miss out section in italics.

Gaspar is a bit of a twit

Props:

  • Celebrity gossip magazine,
  • Bold laundry detergent,
  • Frankenstein toy/mask,
  • weird pipe-cleaner heart with glitter etc, like made by a child (that’s the Mmmm-errr)

Narr
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away … oh hang on, wrong story. That’s Star Wars.
We don’t have any wars in this story, but there is a star. Let me start again …

A long time ago, in a desert far, far away there were three wise men. Sometime we call them kings or magi but really, they were scientists. They studied the stars and plotted the planets and measured the meteors. And one night they saw something very special …

Bal
Wow! Look at that amazingly bright star up there! Melchior, Gaspar, come and look!

Mel
What is it, Balthazar? What have you seen?

Bal
Hi Melchior. Look up there. It’s a super nova, I think.

(Omit section in italics if using three actors or puppets)

Narr
(interrupting) Hold on a minute. What’s going on here? I said there were three wise men. Are you playing all of them?

Bal
Yes, well, budget cuts, you know. And Colin Firth was busy and had to cancel.

Narr
Hmmn, OK then. I suppose it’ll have to do. Get on with the story.

Bal
Where was I? Oh yes. Look up there. It’s a super nova, I think.
What do you reckon Gaspar? Gaspar? Where’s Gaspar?

Mel
Oh, I don’t know. He’s probably messing around with something as usual. A super nova you say? I think you’re right, (aside to audience) except that the scientific terminology won’t be invented for a couple of thousand years yet, so we’re a bit ahead of our time here.

Bal
But what could it mean?

Mel
Well, I’ve been looking through my guide to the stars (holds up celebrity gossip magazine) and it says that the new star means a new king!

Bal
That’s amazing! We should go and visit him. We could take gifts too – something useful would be good.

Mel
Or the latest toy – something every kid would want.

Bal
Brill! That’s all settled then, meet you by the camels in half an hour!

Gas
(puffing) Gosh there’re a lot of steps to get up here. Sorry I’m late guys, I was just making a … errr … well a something. What have I missed?

Mel
Only the biggest news of the century. We’re going to find the new king, and take him gifts. I suppose you had better come too. Make sure you’ve got something to give the new king, and make sure it’s special, not your usual home-made rubbish. What have you been making down there anyway?

Gas
Mmmm-errr, it’s … well, I’m not sure really.

Mel/Bal
Oh, Gaspar!

Narr
So the three wise men packed their pyjamas and their tooth brushes, and went on a long journey to find the new king. They took presents with them too. Balthazar took a very useful present. Melchior took the latest new toy. Gaspar – well Gaspar hadn’t really had much time to get anything ready, so he just grabbed a lot of bits from his bench where he’d been making the … errr … something.

Bal
Urgh, I hate long journeys. These camels really give me the hump.

Mel
Me too. What’s Gaspar messing around with back there?

Bal
I don’t know. He’s done nothing but fiddle, fiddle, fiddle with that stuff since we left. Hey, Gaspar, what are you making?

Gas
Mmmm-errr, well, it’s sort of … I’m not sure yet.

Mel/Bal
Oh, Gaspar!

Narr
After many days of riding, a few wrong turns and an argument over the sat nav, eventually the three wise men reached their destination. It was not a palace, as they had expected, but an ordinary-looking place. The mum and the dad were not a queen and a king, but just ordinary people. The new baby was not wearing a crown, just ordinary baby clothes. But still, Balthazar, Melchior and Gaspar knew that this baby would grow up to be the King of Kings.

Bal
Since I was the one who first saw the star, I should be the first one to give my gift to the new king. I have brought the best gift after all. A very practical gift. I have brought a very large tub of the best quality washing powder – the finest that money can buy. The new king is bound to think that my gift is the best.

Mel
No no! My gift is far better! I have been round all the shops and have the very latest fashionable toy. Every kid wants one, and it cost a packet, I can tell you! The new king will think that my gift is the best! What about you, Gaspar. You’re being very quiet. What have you brought?

Gas
Mmmm-errr, I don’t really know what you’d call it.

Mel/Bal
Oh, Gaspar!

Narr
So the three wise men knelt before the new king, and presented their gifts of Bold, Frankenstein and Mmmm-errr. (Show props and pause for riotous laughter.)

Mary said thank you for the washing powder and the toy and put them away for later on, like when they’d invented the washing machine. But the Mmmm-errr she took and hung above baby Jesus.

And Jesus looked at the Mmmm-errr, and knew that Gaspar had made it, not with glitter and pipe-cleaners, but with time, with care and with lots of love. And that made it the best present of all.

And that’s why we have Christmas; because God sent Jesus to live with us and spend time, care and lots of love on us. And that makes Jesus the best present of all.

Narrator steps out of the story, or another person explains:

Of course, that’s not quite how it happened. The wise men didn’t really bring washing powder and plastic toys. They did bring gifts though, and they were not the usual gifts for a baby:

  • Who can tell me what the real first gift was? Yes, that’s right, Gold. Balthazar brought gold, because Jesus would grow up to be a king.
  • And what was the real second gift? Yes, Frankincense. Melchior brought Frankincense, which is something you can burn and the sweet smoke represents prayer. This shows that Jesus is God.
  • The last gift is a strange word. That’s right, myrrh. Gaspar brought myrrh. It’s a perfume they used when people had died. This was because when Jesus grew up, he gave his life to save ours, so that we could be with God.

And that really is the best, bestest present of all time.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Rom 5:8


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